Man or Monster?

I sit here tonight, thinking about my past. I am thinking about someone who hurt me and hurt my family. This person is not in my life any longer, but he is still counted amongst the living. A month and some days from now, he will emerge from prison, a free man. He will walk the streets. He may go to the mall. He will shop at Wal-Mart. He will fuel his automobile. He will have to make a living. I may end up seeing him on any one of such tasks. This has caused me stress and worry, not only because I do not want to see him, but also because I do not want him to hurt anyone in the future. Knowing what I know, I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the general population. As far as the state of West Virginia is concerned, he has paid his price. Not much, if anything can be done to change the events of the upcoming month.

As I soul searched, attempting to put to rest my fears and anger, I found, within the recesses of my mind, good memories. For the first time in a long time, I have thought of this person as a mere mortal, a man, not the monster of nightmares past, present, and future. I have found in my heart, forgiveness, compassion, and even pity. I have smiled at memories I had forgotten. I pondered and pondered, and I believe I have come to a reasonable level of peace for the time being. I shared with a friend of mine, that this person, whom I regard as terrible, taught me to love painting and expressing myself artistically. This person, whose name is grit in my mouth, challenged my wit at a young age, and bragged of my brilliance. I believe, in his way, this person cared for my family and me. I believe, during his formative years, this person was harmed by someone who should have loved him. After serving ten years in prison, and having his ancient wrongdoings thrust into the forefront of his life, after having to endure testimony of unimaginable, shameful, and humiliating hurt he caused to people he once professed and promised to love, and knowing that the hurt he caused is hurt he once knew himself and still carries, I believe, in his heart, he feels unfathomable pain and guilt. My own heart is pity laden this evening.

One man has walked the earth that never hurt another. I measure nowhere close to His sanctity. No one does.

My prayer is for this man from my past to find healing and peace and never hurt another soul. I hope, if ever he and I have a chance meeting, I hope I have the courage to say to him, "Your actions are inexcusable, but all wrongdoing is. The hurt and effects of what you did last a lifetime, but you know that, don't you? I am sorry know one knew, and if they did, no one helped you. I hope you have never heaped that hurt onto another person since your release, and I hope you never do. I am sorry someone hurt you, and I forgive you."