I Am Woman

I am woman...I am woman, and I am quite capable of taking care of things on my own. Yesterday, after the sun went down, I wanted to mow grass. The mower was out of gas, and trying to start it caused the battery to die. I put gas in the mower, called the husband who is away for the summer for training, and hooked up the charger to the mower battery. This morning, the battery was still too dead to start the mower. You remember "phone a friend" from the millionaire show? Well, I phoned a father-in-law. He told me to hook the charger up on 50 amps, let it sit a few minutes, try to start it a few times for a few seconds to get the gas running through the engine. Guess what. It worked!

Armed with a ridiculous hat and sunblock, I set out to mow the grass, but it was not without complication. It seems when the grass is mid-calf length, very large rocks and sticks are well hidden. I avoided the ones I knew were there and the ones I could see, but there were several I hit. Hearing me mow today was like hearing a really bad drummer. Maverick stood in the yard screaming, which I could not hear because I was on a riding lawn mower, to tell me that the grass is too high. Really? The hose that I had asked him to move was stuck up under the grass. The whole creek probably did actually hear what he said, but I didn't even know he was talking until I saw him jumping up and down with his face all puckered up. I asked Pat to come and deal with the hose, and he stood at the corner of the house, motioning to me. I read his lips, “MOM, come here, SNAKE!!!” I stalked the wee snakey, and killed it with a shovel. I killed a snake! With a shovel! I can do anything! I looked at Jazmine and Patrick and said, “Your mom just did that. She so totally rocks.” My neighbors probably think I'm nuts, and I am not inclined to give a damn.

It's not one of those golf-course striped lawns, but the grass is a decent height, and there is one less snake in the grass. A place for my wee bairnies to play.

Doing things that women don’t typically do makes me feel like I can conquer the world. Look out, y’all. Who knows what I’ll do next. The possibilities are endless. Maybe I’ll change my own oil! I believe I may be growing testicles. It is a man’s world, after all. I may need them.